Here I Am

Look at me and tell me

Tell me I’m a whore

I’ve slept with more people than I thought I ever would

Who was number one, when I have 2 and 5 on my mind

When I never again looked into the eyes of 6

and who I wasted the perfect number 7 on

Who are you to me? 

Nothing, not anymore

A product of my mind

Does rape count?

Does that mean I’ve had sex with 9 people?

When you’re so young and your heart is so done

You don’t care anymore

I couldn’t care less anyway

I’m not a body to keep to myself

I’m a soul that longs to escape

I am a soul

My body is none of your concern

I think happy thoughts and I forgive myself

Forgive me 

Mea culpa mea culpa mea culpa

The blame is on me

I don’t give a fuck anymore and I know it hurts you

You see me as broken and vulnerable and yet strong

I’m not strong

Not anymore

It was stolen from me

Ripped from clenched fingers

But I wasn’t strong enough to keep myself whole

And I will never be strong enough to break away

From you

From my own weaknesses

But that is my body speaking

My soul is strong and free and lovely

 

I have no regrets

I don’t need anybody

Or at least I can pretend

 

If your mind is your prison

How can you escape?

I’m no Houdini

No tricks up my sleeve

But if my body is what I think of

My mind slips away

And I’m having fun

Even if I’m not happy

I’m ok

And I depend on myself more when I’m broken

I love getting high

I only need myself when my pieces fall apart

When this artfully pieced together tapestry has worn through

 

I’m a master with the needle

 

I only need myself

 

So tell me I’m a whore

Whats so bad about that?

Id rather be a woman with loose morals

Than nothing but a gravestone

 

Your words could never hurt me

My words do enough of that

I don’t need you to throw me down and drag my face through the gravel

I’ve been here a long time

I think I’ll make a home here

I think I’ve made a home here

 

 

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