Contradictory Statements: The Real Truth

I begged you for life, saying: 
“Let me fade into nothingness!”
I pleaded for change,
But I am set in my ways.
I craved his attention –
Saw him and turned my head away.

I pinch at the fat of my tummy in disgust,
Insisting that yes, I do love myself.
I fucked them and bashed slut-shaming;
Yet my actions led to guilty remorse.

I curse your wounds and spit hell into your eyes,
Hearing whispers of peace & tranquility.
I nurtured a broken one to mental health –
I shame you for your illnesses.

I am fire, then embers, then ashes.

I want to be kind.
I want to be loving.
I want to be better.

You are what you say you are,
And life is what you make of it.

I am kind.
I am loving.
I am better now.

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