Men’s Rights

“A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?”
-Excerpt from If I Admit That Hating Men is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning it Into a Self-fulfilling Prophecy?, by Lindy West


24 thoughts on “Men’s Rights

  1. I’ve seen this before. “The Patriarchy” is a construct that means anything and every thing and all things and nothing all at the same time. This makes it meaningless. Can you rephrase this list without referencing “The Patriarchy”?

    1. If I had written it I would, because it is quite the umbrella term. But it serves it’s purpose well, and anyone can understand the point.

      1. That’s just it. That’s nothing but babble to me. It is not a point I understand.

        We don’t want you to loose custody of your children because supercalafragalisticexpealidous.

      2. So the construct of “The Patraiarcy” is super simple, so simple that you can’t even use other words in it’s place to make a point about how simple it is?

        Sounds to me like it’s exactly the super overloaded double speak meaningless word I think it is and because of this there are no other words to use.

      3. I didn’t wrote this, I won’t change it. Patriarchy: “Patriarchy is a social system in which the role of the male as the primary authority figure is central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and is dependent on female subordination. Historically, the principle of patriarchy has been central to the social, legal, political, and economic organization of Hebrew, Greek, Roman, Indian, and Chinese cultures, and has had a deep influence on modern civilization… The concept of patriarchy often includes all the social mechanisms that reproduce and exert male dominance over women.”

      4. I see seven distinct definitions in there, and that’s only in the denotation. The Connotation of “The Patriarchy” will have many many more meanings. It is an overloaded construct.

        So tell men, how is it that men are loosing custody of their children if men have authority over women and children?

      5. Well I know what IS. The question is how is this possible if the man has authority over both the wife and the child. Would his dictatorial mandate that he keeps the children not over ride the wishes of the wife and child?

      6. No, because in a system that sustains that women are caregivers and mothers, the burdens of caring for a child(ren) would most likely fall upon the woman. If a man were to decide he wanted to keep a child, it’s questioned on the above basis, so he must find a way to prove that he is a better caregiver than their mother is, because she has a vagina and that means she should care for them.

      7. So both men and women are bound into interdependent and interconnected divisions of labor called gender roles. We should be breaking these gender roles for both men and women.

        How is this a man having authority over his wife and children?

      8. I agree.
        Traditionally, men owned their wives – literally buying them from the fathers who originally owned them. Men could beat or kill their wives. Men could rape their wives and have it not be “rape” because she belongs to him and it is her “wifely duty.” Back about 50 years, a woman who tried to divorce a man would most likely not be able to keep her children because the men own everything, including those kids.

      9. So if it was still legal for fathers to auction off their daughters to the highest bidder, you would have a point. They can’t.

        If men could still legally beat their wives, you would have a point. They can’t.

        If men could still force their wives to have sex, you would have a point. They can’t.

        If Fathers still got custody in the overwhelming majority of cases, you would have a point. They don’t.

        If Men still where considered the owners of women and children, you would have a point. They aren’t.

        If this “The Patriarchy” thing that you are fighting ever did actually exist, it was extinguished before you where even born.

        Either “The Patriarchy” is a meaningless word like supercalafragileisticexpealidocious or you are trying to destroy the Holy Roman Empire in China.

      10. There does still exist gender inequality. It’s just not “The Patriarchy” or “The oppression of women”. It is interconnected interdependent divisions of labor called gender roles that places obligations on both men and women. If you take your blinders off you will quickly see that women are not the only gender. Gender roles place burdens, often unfair burdens, on both men and women.

      11. Our oppression does not minimize or eliminate yours. I’m not denying that there are unfair burdens on people of all genders. But since men have had the upper hand since the beginning of civilization, and since the patriarchy was and is a very real thing, I concentrate on feminism. But I’m a humanist. I’m for all people.

      12. So because men had unfair advantages that where removed before you where even born, the focus should be on benefits for women despite men and women both facing similar obsticals in 2014.

        Sounds very humanitarian to me.

      13. No, and sexism didn’t vanish in 1919 when women got the right to vote. However the realities of sexism in 2014 are radically different than the realities of sexism in 1914 or 1814. If we are not recognizing how sexism has changed and how much better things are for women then we are doing a disservice to both women and men.

      14. Oh it has improved. I’m aware of that. Atleast here and in some other countries. But just because it’s improved for us doesn’t mean it has for everyone. And overall, women are far more oppressed than men.
        Now, this conversation doesn’t help either of us, either women or men or anyone in between. It makes both of us more settled in our opinions, and it’s tiring. Bye now

      15. 21 comments over 4 hours and you still have yet to produce a single shred of evidence on the existance of “The Patriarchy” or how smashing it will address men’s rights issues. This conversation is going very badly for you. Quick end it before you have to admit your wrong.

      16. I don’t have to provide evidence of something that is clearly there. This conversation is me trying to explain to you that we breathe oxygen and you insisting that you don’t see it so it’s not there. When you give me a “shred of evidence” that the patriarchy actually isn’t there, let me know.

      17. Also, I’m not here to discuss men’s rights. When a privileged male goes on a tirade that women only want what’s in his wallet because he most likely seems to have nothing else to offer, I won’t comfort him because of his unfair burden. I’ll laugh in his face and tell him to look to all the countries where women are subjected to abuse and rape, where girls struggle for education and freedom while their men hold all the power over them. As I laugh in yours. Your denial of a huge shift in power between men and women throughout the WORLD – not simply your neighborhood – is the EXACT reason why there are women who march in the name of feminism. I desire equality for all but my attention goes towards those who need it most. Women. Of all colors, shapes and sizes. Because even the richest, lightest skinned American wife can feel the insults and backhanded compliments and undercurrent of sexism that runs in this country. The least of our problems, like that rich woman’s, is much more deeply ingrained cultural filth compared to your tirade on the attraction of your wallet. Now go find someone else who wants to argue, and kindly get the fuck off my personal blog.

      18. I’m not here to explain anything to you. Take your questions to anywhere on the internet you feel is worthy of them, and go find answers to your inane questions. I do not run an educational blog.

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