Dores 

I can’t stop thinking about you, my little baby, about how my stomach would block my toes and I would hold you in my arms in a week or two… I can’t stop thinking if you’d get his dimples and nose, would you have his temperament or mine, or a lovely mix? My little baby boy, I hope you give my daddy a kiss for me, a hug for me, ask him to do the same to you for me, to hold you tight and breath in your little baby scent of purity and loss.. 

Aiiii my bebe, queria tanto te conhecer, te amar… Cuidar de você.. Queria tanto ouvir teus choros, e teus risos ainda mais… 

And you, my bubby, where have you gone from me? Far far away, my lies pushed you far far away, but see how I planned it to be that way? I broke your heart so you could forget me but now I wish I hadn’t lied, I take it back, no no… The truth hurts but sometimes the pain takes us home, lifts us up out of our grievances and onto a path that only the truth knows.. Oh bubby, I want to kiss your face and imagine my baby’s, I want to hug you and feel my son in my arms. I want to hug you and feel a fathers arms around me, my sons father and mine too, in the tight circle of your arms I used to call home..

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